Coming to grips with the reality that you want to get divorced is only the beginning of the hard road that lies ahead. Talking to your spouse about divorce can be very challenging, but the way you handle this initial conversation could determine how the rest of the divorce (and life after divorce) plays out. If you handle the conversation well, it might help the divorce go smoothly. If you don’t, you might be in for a nasty divorce.
One quick side note – before you have the divorce conversation with your spouse, consult with an experienced divorce attorney and make sure you are fully prepared for what’s about to take place. A good attorney will help you get everything in order so that things go as smoothly for you as possible.
So, how should you talk to your spouse about getting divorced?
- Take responsibility for your role in things—You shouldn’t take this as an opportunity to blast your spouse for everything he or she has done wrong. That will set a bad tone that could carry through the entire divorce. Instead, take responsibility for your own mistakes, and avoid pointing the finger at them.
- Stop talking and listen—Communication is especially important right now. You need to let your spouse talk. You need to make sure they understand what you’re saying. And you need to respect their feelings.
- Work through the logistics of the situation—Once you’ve said that you want a divorce and your spouse has started to process that fact, you’ll need to start working out the logistics of the situation. If kids are involved, how will you two tell them? Who will move out? There are many details the two of you will need to sort out, and if you can discuss them in a civilized manner, that’s for the best.
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