Why Marriage After Divorce Sometimes Fails

If a marriage fails, some people hope that the second marriage after divorce will be better; in fact, a few count on it. After all, they must have learned how to do it better since the first one failed. Unfortunately, this can turn into a very unrealistic expectation of a second marriage. A marriage weighed down by that expectation can suffer greatly. So, it is important to remember that each marriage is different, so it may not be any easier the second time around, though that doesn’t mean it won’t work.

Be Careful with Expectations

Divorce-iStock_000016118323XSmallSecond and third marriages are not uncommon, and neither are marriages that work, whether they are first or not. When people walk down the aisle a second time, they sometimes view the act as a hopeful entrance into the second chance at a better marriage. They hope that their failed first marriage gives them experience and wisdom that will make the second one better. They should take caution, however, because this may not be the case.

Some potential difficulties in a second marriage are the emotional and psychological struggles people bring into it. You may not realize it, but it takes a long time to let go of the troubles of the first marriage, and sometimes they never really go away. Thus, your second spouse will have to stand alongside you as you face these issues, and possibly help you through them. That can be a lot to manage, even for two people. Hopefully, you both enter into marriage aware of this possibility, and are able to survive it.

Children can also make second and third marriages more complicated. If you already have children from your first marriage, the transition may not be easy for them. In fact, it may be incredibly difficult. It may take time, and even professional help from an impartial third party for them to develop a relationship with your new spouse. While it is entirely possible that everyone will learn to get along, it is important to remember that it may not happen easily.

To have the best chance at a happy second marriage after divorce, you must first have a successful divorce—on that is hopefully not too unpleasant. Let us help you with that at Miller Law.


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